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Question: Why shouldn't I have written this!?
On Street Vendors

…I found him mostly covered in savoy and lovage, distraught and broken, a pitiful shell of a green man!.

On the Street Vendors of Illegal Shoes

I breathed the law!. “There will be no shoe that breaks the bounds of normalcy and sanity as a set majority deem it to be under penalty of deportation and statutory exile!.” The proprietress of the Hasty Stand glommed between Sevens and the Buts eyed me eleven times!.

“I've know,” she said in chorus and in past tense!. Having preferred pseudo immortality over limited liability marriage, the eleven daughters of then Sectr Managete Soup eb All chose to become the eleven floating heads of an amalgamaton that runs one of the three dubious shoe stands beneath the shadow of the Argyl Mill, across the fetid Sceeds, beneath the potential’s markets!.

I asked how she does!.

In rich contralto, soprano, and alto she rejoined!. ”My lot was well cast and I've never complained!. Haven't you known the Know ‘Don’t sow a roll if you’re hungering bread’!?”

I did!.

“It’s like that!.”

I nodded, and asked after the shoes!. She gestured at the shoes and I had a hard look!. There were all kinds of shoes!. Tall ones, short ones, the skinny, the fat, the long, those with gold trim, those made of feathers, of silver, of stone, of dung!. Those filled with tulips and those formed of flounders, she had some that weren’t really there at all, but were rather potentially shoes!. A few pair wrote in the dust as you passed, but they only wrote vulgar satire on the current state of the weather!. Some where made of the dreams of snails, others rode on tiny wheels!. She found most of them, for she was an ambler and as such had no feet and a smaller need for shoes than some!.

I asked here how much she charged!.

“I've taken only dreams and dockets,” in lazy reply, and then refused to answer any more of my questions!.

I spoke with the Faces about this particular crime, and they acknowledged in their way that it is a minor problem!. Given about four arrests a year, and almost eighty potential arrests, the average number of shoes sold off market amounts to something close to twenty thousand pair!.


On the Street Vendors of Finger Bones

It doesn’t exist except on alternating Tuesdays when there are four or more people…Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
The comments left by Fat Dragon had valid points, but your creation far surpasses the norm in most posted stories of teen drama on this forum!.

I give you an A in punctuation and creativity, with an imagination that does inspire the written word!. Your short statement of "I breathed the law" had more undertones than many readers will find!.

The genre is, of course, fantasy, but one that is certainly a cut above those short stories posted here!. Thank you for sharing your ability with us!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Writer among other thingsWww@QuestionHome@Com

first: did you write this!?
second: if you did who said you shouldnt have!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's coolWww@QuestionHome@Com

go to londonWww@QuestionHome@Com

It sounds like one of those nonsensical experimental fiction pieces that lit magazine editors go gaga over and nobody else gives a flying you-know-what about!.

That's why you shouldn't have written it!.

On a more serious note, it's moderately entertaining to read!. However, still on a serious note, see the first two paragraphs of this answer!.

Edit: A request for tongue-in-cheek critique, or a tongue-in-cheek request for critique!? Or a tongue-in-cheek request for tongue-in-cheek critique!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

well, i like it (in a weird way)

even if it were that bad, i don't see why you shouldn't have written it!.
we learn from our mistakes after all!.Www@QuestionHome@Com