Position:Home>Poetry> Opinions on my Holocaust poem?
Question: Opinions on my Holocaust poem!?
This is called "A Dream in His Eyes"
A booming sound,
with rushing smoke!.
Nothing will be the same,
nor the hearts it broke!.
One man's words
can make a difference,
One man's actions,
will hold it's absence!.
"T?ten Sie sie alle!"
His order rung in their ears!.
"Eine vollkommene Gesellschaft!"
And this confirmed their fears!.
To rule over the world,
that is his dream!.
Massive killing,
or so it may seem!.
Blonde hair,
with blue eyes!.
What about
the ones in disguise!?
The utopia will
rise up in smoke!.
Nothing will be the same,
nor the hearts it broke!.
NOTE;; The translations of those German words are: "Kill them all!" and the second is "A perfect society!."Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
That was beautiful!.!.!.I am actually watching a video about the Holocaust in class now, and this poem really spoke to me!.!.!. Thousands of people suffered and some of them even ended their own lives because they just wanted it all to end!.!.!.all the pain!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I liked it!.
A!. Who is the one man who can make a difference and hold it's absence!?
Or is it a man in general; anyone could have stopped it, but they didn't!? Something about those few lines could have been improved with overall word choice!.
B!. If I wrote the poem, I would let the reader research the German words for themselves!.
C!. The rhythm may or may not have been what you were going for!. I suppose a connection could be made to soldiers marching in formation, but remember, not every poem needs to rhyme!. Experiment a bit here, this poem has potential!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
i liked it since it amde me sad and i liked hte repetition!. plus the german made an added bonus [i speak german so yeah]Www@QuestionHome@Com
Well written!. I enjoyed how you incorporated German phrasing!.!.!.Good job!Www@QuestionHome@Com
niceWww@QuestionHome@Com