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Question: Can someone please help with my poetry here!?
Hi, my poetry is kind of deteriorating towards the end and I’m wondering how I can make people actually feel the words, get some kind of rhythm going!.

Can someone please help!?


Chew chew chew the ovaries,
As spasdine links drawn forth the surgeon leans,
Cut out my bowels, cut out my bowels,
there is no haemoglobin in this tube of vile!.

I have bitten the **** cheeks of her soft fleshy undercarriage,
I am wondering what her head would look like on a stick,
I do want your tangey American sauce,
Always with the tangey American sauce!.

She is a lovedoll of immeasurable proportions,
I stroke her nylon hair and pry her open mouth!.
I want the turkey, I have the turkey
I want to use the turkey!.





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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Actually very very deep on so many levels!. Ignore these wannabes above, looking at their history they dunno wtf they’re talking about!.

I would just leave it EXACTLY how it is!. I felt the frustration!. The angers definately there, it just needs a few more verses!. I think you shouldn’t hold back though, you’re holding something back!. Really let loose, let one rip
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Anything can be poetry, really!.

Anyway, I like it!. Although each stanza doesn't really fit together, it doesn't flow!. It's kooky, and different, but just make sure it doesn't sound too vulgar, heh!.

Interesting, though!. :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

I am sitting in the smallest room of my house!. I have your "poem" in front of me!. In a moment, it will be behind me!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

LOL you idiot! This does not warrant any poetry!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I'm thinking that maybe Anne Rice would like your poetry and perhaps use it as a chapter opener!.!.!. seriously !Www@QuestionHome@Com

Don`t give up the day jobWww@QuestionHome@Com