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Question: Thoughts on a sonnet I wrote!?
Sonnet
I wouldn’t stop by there, if I were you,
On the sculpted apex and wide chicane
Of lofted paths shepherding autumn plains—
For all you suppose it affords a view,
An outcast girl, a summer back or two,
Sheltered where you stand from the August rain
And met – before she’d found her way again –
An antic buck, frightened by the thunder too!.
It gamboled in, antlers-first and flying;
We saw the clash from the porch-chairs here,
Heard the buck’s neck break, its awkward crying;
She tore silent to the summer plains sheer!.
So come away, we meant you no offence,
Next year, perhaps, we’ll consider a fence!.
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I love every thing about this poem which I think is masterful and shows an immense talent except the line:
She tore silent to the summer plains sheer!.
maybe:
Saw her plunge silent to the summer plain below!.
As she plunged, silent, to the summer plain below!.
Silent she plunged to the summer plain below!.
I don't think a buck's cries could be awkward, did you mean plaintive or maybe tormented or anguished!?
Lofted means thrown, do you think lofty might be a better choice!?
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its good!!!!!!!!!!!!
PLEASE! help me!!!!!!!!!!
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