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Question: Do you mind judging this poem!?
I am a poet and I just created a poem last night!. I need your comment on it!. If you think that there needs to be a couple of modifications then feel free to tell me!. So here is the poem:
The Path to Harmony
by Quentin Grzyb
The path to harmony lies upon forgiveness
Forgiveness releases us from our negative aura
We become one with Mother Nature and everything around us
We separate ourselves from the materialistic world and live in peace
When the world is in chaos, we do not intervene but help the innocent
Much like a tadpole on a lily pad, we remain calm and full of wisdom
We welcome everybody with open arms no matter how big or small
It is our love and honor for others that help create this harmony!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It is nice!. It is really good if you did this last night (or any night at all)!. Your poem makes one think deeper about forgiveness and the path that we should all be to become better people!. My only critic (if it is one) is the last line: Ask yourself should it be more powerful b/c it is the last message your readers will read or prob remember!. also I noticed around the fouth line, you add little words like "from" and "the" while your first two lines are based on your main points that you want to express to readers!. I hope this helps!. Good luck!Www@QuestionHome@Com
The imagery is vague and, for a poem that is about harmony, it is not very varied in its sounds!. The message is kinda preachy and does not attempt to identify and solve a HUMAN problem, in HUMAN terms!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Thats really good! Are you going to get it published or something!? I love the message aswell!. It is deep and meaning full!. Really great stuff!. :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
thatsssss aweeesomeeee!
NO CHANGESSS!
that was THE besttT!Www@QuestionHome@Com
nice thoughts, but somethings can't be forgiven,Www@QuestionHome@Com
If I wrote a poem like that my teachers would be so proud!.!.!.!.!.*sigh*
Great job :DWww@QuestionHome@Com
I didn't like it!. It seemed!.!.!. disjointed and stiff!.Www@QuestionHome@Com