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Question: What do you think!? Critisize pls!?
My Nubian Rose
Allure
like palm tree
greeted by cool breeze
firm yet swaying in versatility
Brilliance
Sparkling eyes
radiating greatness
My north star!.
Strength
A diamond
Hard
Always in demand
Lips
Sweet as Fresh wild honey
To drink
the Purest wine
Sunlight
Moonlight
You blossom day and night
I yearn
to pluck and put you in my ornamented vase
to nourish you with my water of life
I Patiently wait
While Surrounding thorns
Wither in AutumnWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Some of it reminds me of The Song of Songs!.
I don't know the name of this form, or if it even has a name, but it works well - it has power!.
Some things don't jibe well with the metaphor!. Flowers don't have eyes or lips!.
Some of it is pretentious: the random and useless capitalization of several words; "swaying in versatility;"
You actually do need to capitalize proper nouns - it's North Star!.
The desire to both pluck and nourish seems conflicting!.
These are all minor flaws!. You might even persuade me that some of these are not flaws at all!. All in all, I like it!. You engaged my interest immediately, and held it throughout!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Well,I would like to say that thee put in lots of effort in thinking of this poem!.Good job!.But,I need to say that every poem needs to have capital letters at every stanza at the first word,so thee should remind of that!.Thee are great at describing things too!!!!!!!!!!How nice,I should say!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
mmm!.!.!.makes me sleepyWww@QuestionHome@Com