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Position:Home>Arts & Humanities> -yawns- Okay, what do you think...?Question: -yawns- Okay, what do you think...?I wrote this. I don't rhyme. And these are my thoughts. I am clearly stating I know I'm classified as Goth. Uhm...I know the poem may be a little sad. Don't even tell me. I know it. Thanks in advance. Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Hi, thanks for writing I don't know if you want to revise this at all, I don't want to be presumptous, but just in case you don't mind here are my ideas: A couple changes you might consider (S=Strophe L=Line): S3 L3: Consider dropping the word "being" S6: This kind of sounds like a country song. You may want to rewrite. I'm not being sarcastic. Beyond that it read well to me. Those were just my thoughts do with them what you will. |