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Question: Fun enjoyable poem! New! What do you guys think!?
Dancin' on the beach

Party like there is a tomorrow

then we'll party again

dancin' on the beach

Toes makin' love to the sand

Tides washin' away my worries

once beset with gloom

Like a breath of fresh air for the soul

Dancin' the night away under the restless moonWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
The use of dialect matches the casual mood quite well!. The sense imagery is vivid and apt!. Consider either punctuating the sentence ends, or removing the capitalization; the current split is a little distracting!. also, right now the imagery is mostly visual (beach, moon) and tactile (dancing, toes in the sand)!. You might add sound (from the waves) or smell (the sea itself, or party smells like barbecue) for greater impact!. Bring the reader right onto that beach with you!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Hi, wonderful, great and loved the imagery!. 'Toes makin' love to the sand' what wonderful imagery just in those few words!.

Keep on writing as I really enjoyed this piece and hopefully you will have more to put up to share with the rest of us!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it!.
The omission of the 'g' at the end of most words is interesting!.
Ordinarily I would hate it, but it fits with the poem!.
And, like you said, Its a fun, enjoyable poem!. It doesn't really require deep thinking and analyzing!. :)
Keep posting!.Www@QuestionHome@Com