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Question: Hows this poem i wrote!?
i look in the mirror and see someone i hate
broken and stepped on
weak and fearful
losing her mind
razor to her wrist she screams
"i cant take this!"
nobodys listening
blood pours down
her cold broken heart in sync with mine
i stand there staring at her
i do nothing as i watch her fade away
i whisper to her
"this is the end"
we share one last glance
the mirror shatters
and that girl is gone
i look down and see what ive done
and i am gone too
i dont really think this ones very good but i was wondering what others thought of it!. comments and suggestions are always great =]Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
it's great!. here's my interpretation: its about someone who is sick and try with someone he/her hate and trying to erase his/her existence, but this person regret what he/she have doneWww@QuestionHome@Com
You wrote it very well, it's sad but it's a really good poem!. =]
What do you think of mine!? =]
http://malaysia!.answers!.yahoo!.com/questi!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
i like it because it seems like its someone watching someone else when really its someone watching themselves!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
its cool!. but emoWww@QuestionHome@Com
Hi, I hope you don't mind but I played around with your poem and hope you like it!. I really like the twist of her image being separate from herself!. I have had 15 poems published and find that when I've written a new poem I go back to it the next day and completely reword it!. I love using the thesaurus!. I hope this helps!
Broken and stepped on weak and fearful she is
finally fed up with the reflection in that mirror
misplacing herself worth
a razor is taken to the wrist
Over and over she screeches these unheard words
too much, too little, too late
Unsurprisingly she watches her bright red life source flow
her cold broken heart becomes in sync with mine
No longer standing alone I stare at her fatal mistake
watching her fade away we choose to take no action
Unaware of which one utters the words
this is the end they share one last glance
Shattering reflections makes the girl fade away
along with the woman that was with herWww@QuestionHome@Com