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Question: Is this a well thought out poem!? I need critics!!!?
I walk next to you
In my dreams every night
I can't turn around
Can't even look behind my shoulder
For You
For You
Dreams I have crushed
Hopes I let down
Believers can't lie
But there's always a first
For You
For You
One day I woke up
Looked strait into the mirror
and saw you
looking at me from another dimension
For You
For You
Glass was holding me down
The devil you could say
was imprisoning me
against my will
For You
For You
I begged on hands and knees
Pleading for the days
When you and I could be
Would be
I made it, I'll be turning this into a song!.!.!. suggestions!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
i like it!. the one verse i would invite you to revisit is the "the devil you could say was imprisoning me against my will" line, has any one ever been imprisoned at their will!? if you can find another way to get that point across it might help!. other than that i do enjoy it!.
keep writingWww@QuestionHome@Com
I!.!.!.!.like it!.!.!.mmm!.!.!.kinda unsure abt it tho to tell u the truth, what kind of effect would u like this poem to have!? oh and therez a typo "strait" shld b staightWww@QuestionHome@Com