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Question: Please Critique/Compliment my poem!?
Tell me what you think--your honest opinion!. And please, try not to get carried away or I'll report you!. Thanks!! :)

"Ocean"

The water glitters
Reflecting the gold sun
It explodes into unknown colors
Camouflaging the creatures within
Into the great blue abyss they glide
As quiet as a murmer

They soar through the coral
Flecks of yellow and orange
Scatter every which way
Dancing and twirling colors

A large white body
Curious as a puppy
Stares with his stone black eyes
And stealthily glides

Trillions of hand-crafted shells
Ocean-brushed to perfect their exquisite beauty
Ripple with the tide
Journeying to shore

The sun breaks through the waves
Illuminatng a world of magic
A wonderland of water and salt
Of fin and gill
Man and ocean

I am 16 and am hoping to be a writer!. Give me some advice :)Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
You killed it when you said "it explodes"!. This line breaks the flow!. "Great Blue Abyss" sounds wrong, but it could be right, yet sounds like a cliche!. the next lines are good!.!.!.!.then we go to the one that reads
"Dancing and twirling colors" this does not sound right!. I get what you are trying to say but it just doesn't flow!.

I could go on and on about your poem but , you know how it is when everybody in here writes poetry about the sky, the ocean, the trees, and the birds!.!.!.!.its so over done!.

I like some of your imagery though!.!.!.it shows you care!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

sounds good its seems like a poem that represent like happiness or beautyWww@QuestionHome@Com