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Position:Home>Poetry> How good is that 1st cup?Question: How good is that 1st cup!? 1st Cup Eyes See Deep sea sounds Drown yesterday Fathoms blue revive me East breaks the day The moment pristine Peaceful eyes see Damn, this a good cup ?rad092908 Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: The last line is the best line! It's short & sweet! To the point!! I like your poem! The first cup is always the best cup as long as you didn't get it from 2 girls!!! lolWww@QuestionHome@Com Two suggestions: 1!. since your first two lines complete a single phrase, do the same with the second stanza!.!.!.try, East breaks the day In a moment pristine Peaceful eyes see and 2!. "Damn, this is a good cup" !.!.!."this a good cup" sounds too awkward!. !.!.!.you had good images, keep writingWww@QuestionHome@Com freshly brewed aroma drifts from kitchen to me!.!.!.!.!.nothing beats that first cup at dark thirty in the morning!. niceWww@QuestionHome@Com I enjoyed the last line!. It brought clarity and reality to the etherealness of the poem!. ?Www@QuestionHome@Com Uh oh, Kevin's on you!. He's worse than the Poetry Police!. The last line just needs to go!. This is very good, without the expletive!.Www@QuestionHome@Com This is very nice!. I can't imagine what it would be like to have that 1st cup gazing at open sea in all directions!.!.!.Very nice image indeed!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Good onyer!!! Seeing what you love revives the spiritedness of you! Peaceful eyes see this as one damn good poem!!! I'm finished now!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Damn, that was a good drink! Hugs, maWww@QuestionHome@Com OK,,,I won't read the last line,,,,I still like it though,,, Hey ,,,I thought you left to go play Popeye!?!? Or Am I Mistaken!?!? Www@QuestionHome@Com Its good, as long as its full!Www@QuestionHome@Com peaceful heart sees/sings!.Www@QuestionHome@Com |