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Question: Another new poem that i wrote!?:)!?
i guess i care
a little more than i thought
since these tears won't stop running
down my burning cheeks
i must have done so much wrong
to cause so much hatred
no word uttered
is loving anymore
and every time i think
i'll change, things will too
i always come to conclude
that i'm trapped in a circle
i've tried it all, and i'm tired of all
hope, expectation, doubt and apathy
hatred, disappointment, even blind love
i've tried it all and i'm so tired
but i guess i care
a little more than i thought
since these tears won't stop running
down my burning cheeks
i know i'm not too good!.!.!.i'm a beginner but still please comment
thank youWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
i love the "but i guess i care" group of lines
it's a great start "that i'm trapped in a vicious cycle" instead of circle!?
the one thing i dislike is the repetitive tried/tired line in the 4th gorup of lines , you can alter the words so that you don't use them twice unless that was intentional
all in all, keep writing, you're doing great so far :D
and check out my own poems: http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.
or
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.
thank you :]Www@QuestionHome@Com
damn!.
this is wonderful!.
i pretty like that ?
on a scale 1 - 10
its a 9,8 :DWww@QuestionHome@Com
i actually like it!. you're very good for a "beginner"!. keep it up and you'll write amazing poetry someday!.
Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's beautiful, honey!.
Keep writing and you'll get somewhere someday!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I think your good
creative at least
You should Write a poem and enter one of those poetry contests your pretty good!!
Good Luck!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's nice, deep and free-verse!
I like it! Try a rhyming one next!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I really like it!.!.!.its very sweet =)Www@QuestionHome@Com