The Girl From The Bronx
Sweet and lovely
Has Dominican tan
Walking in short skirt
Showing legs
Beautiful and sexy
Has brim black hat
Pink high heels
And drawing whistles
Oh the girl from the Bronx
Sweet and lovely
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Position:Home>Poetry> Critique My Poem: The Girl from The BronxQuestion: Critique My Poem: The Girl from The Bronx The Girl From The Bronx
Sweet and lovely Has Dominican tan Walking in short skirt Showing legs Beautiful and sexy Has brim black hat Pink high heels And drawing whistles Oh the girl from the Bronx Sweet and lovely Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: a nice and simple poem!.!. you have an eye for details!.and u have a very good ending in respect to your beginning!. Www@QuestionHome@Com Some nice lines!. I think you could compress them a little further!. Sweet and lovely and Beautiful and sexy are ideas that the images should convey--try not to just say them!. An edit like this perhaps (just an example): The Girl From The Bronx Dominican tan Walking in a short skirt Showing legs Black brim hat Pink high heels Drawing whistles Oh this girl from the Bronx Www@QuestionHome@Com |