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A poem I hope you like and comment on thanks!?
I can tell you why there's
so many songs about rainbows,
because what you say is so true,
they are enigmas,
for the song and the dreamers,
for the hopefull, like me and like you!.
And I swear I would rather,
touch him and hold,
for his bueaty
than rather for
the hope of a fools gold!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It's a gentle poem, and I'm sure behind the words there is so much meaning!. Yes, I do like it!. It's lovely!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
The image is 'beautiful', but your redundancy on words cheapens the meaning!. And your use of prepositions is high! Replace them with adjectives!.!.!. Please read my rewrite as a critique and not a knock on your talent!. Don't you want to pull us into the story for it's sheer entertaining value!? Observe!.!.!.!.
COLOUR MY LIFE
Can I tell you why
There's songs about rainbows
Because what people say is true,
They're reflective enigmas of billowing light
That capture our hearts and dreams
A sign of hope for me and you!.
I swear I would rather
Reach to the sky and
Touch and hold it's beauty,
Than false hope of a fool's gold
A reason to colour my life!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Theew doesn't seem to be much structure to it to be honest!. You've just broken up sentences randomly and put a comma at the end of every line!. It's a bit weak as well, where are your literary devices!? Might I suggest you go and read some proper poetry to see what I mean!? I like Christina Rossetti, why not go and read some of her stuff!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I think it's kind of bland and cliche!. You need something witty, or catchy!. This is teenage puppy love sap!. Sorry, hon, I think you need to try taking some creative writing courses, or maybe read some really good poetry to get some idea of what good poetry sounds like!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
That is so, so beautiful,
And has so many underlying meanings,
And beautiful metaphors!.
I love it, i love it, i love it!.
Answer My question!? http://uk!.answers!.yahoo!.com/question/ind!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's been done many times!.!. It's not different enough!.
Please answer my question!.
awwww i luv this poem its so cute, u really r very creative this peom is really sweet i really like it, i like poems like that, anyway i good job :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
It is pretty good but you need to correct your gramme!. The Rainbow should be referred to as, it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It made me cry!. *sniff*Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like it :)
the first verse is great <3
its very nice!. soft, like you are almost in a dream when reading it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
i like itWww@QuestionHome@Com
I love it!.!.!. it feels so comfort and warm
email/ im me moreWww@QuestionHome@Com
i like itWww@QuestionHome@Com
its sweet and cute!.!.but needs a lil excitement!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
to be very frank its looks like stolen!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com