Is there anything wrong with not wanting to be sexually involved in a relationsh

Question:

Is there anything wrong with not wanting to be sexually involved in a relationship?

Is there anything wrong with not wanting to be sexually involved in a relationship?

I am a 20 year old woman and it seems that now-a-days guys expect a girl to be sexually involved once they are in a relationship. It's just not for me. I realized that guys these days don't tend to respect the girls they go out with if they are sexually involved which I think its truly messed up and I'm not trying to fall into that trap. I refused to be used and abused by any guy.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: You are going to get answers all over the map on this question, I would suspect, but my take on it is, GOOD FOR YOU! I have often thought that promiscuity can create self-image problems amongst young women, especially when you have so many young men who use the number of women they sleep with as a method of scoring their manhood.

I honestly believe that relationships are better founded on friendship rather than sex. My father always used to say that at some point you have to get out of bed, and then what do you talk about? There has GOT to be something more than the bedroom activities,but they are so purvasive that they can lead you believe that they are enough in building a long lasting relationship, and it is only later that you find out, much to your dismay, that they are not. I'll promise you one thing, it is the friendship that gets you through hard times, not the sex. The sex is the first thing that suffers in hard times!

Don't allow yourself to be used and abused by ANYONE, not just guys. Just as important, don't allow yourself to be pressured by anyone, either. You have feet - walk away if you feel bad about something.

The short answer to your question is no, there is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to be sexually involved in a relationship - your body is YOUR body. I applaud you and wish you nothing but the best.

Good luck, and I hope you have a great day. Any reason why you put this in "performing arts"? LOL

Good luck finding a guy if you're not willing to put out. Your best bet is to become a Christian and date Christian guys, so they don't expect it.

And since when is having consensual sex "abuse?" Uhm, I think your issue is deeper than that. Not every guy who sleeps with a woman doesn't respect her afterwards. Maybe your too clingy? Dependant? Maybe you like girls? more power to you me niether they are really dumb cause most of them just think girls are their booty call!! Dude, that's awesome. >.<
If you don't want to have sex with him, don't! =] not all guys expect it, but they definitely hope it will lead to it . every guy that is sexually attracted to woman is going to eventually want to be close and have a physical relationship with a woman. its very normal, and its instinct. it doesn't make men bad because they have sexual desires in woman. but it doesn't mean that you are wrong either but you will find even when you find a guy, its going to be hard for him to wait forever for you, its natural attraction and its fun. Good for you! No there is nothing wrong with that at all! You have a right to believe and practice any which way you choose in this life and without criticism. In fact, I find it commendable that you feel this way at your young age. Stick to your guns and keep on demanding the respect you deserve. Let those guys find and use some other girl who really doesn't care. It will be one more with values like yours the wise man will seek after when he decides to choose a future wife he can trust and respect! Not the female who jumped at the chance to be his sex toy! You should definitely not want to be sexually involved in a relationship in the performing arts. Period. There is also nothing wrong with not wanting to be sexually involved in any relationship, however you are only half of the relationship. You have to find someone else with the same needs that you have. If you are looking for an intellectual relationship, it does not require a member of the opposite sex. All you need to do is find someone you are intellectually compatible with and have that relationship with them.

If you are looking for a relationship that involves physical contact as well as mutual respect however, that is a good deal more challenging. The best thing would be to look for a member of the opposite sex in venues that would suggest that this person understands mutual respect ans is willing to proceed at the same level of commitment that you desire. This involves a lot of communication and frankness from both people. It also involves a lot of group dating, staying away from situations that obviously lead to temptation, and not allowing yourself to get trapped in situations where you may feel obligated. This can include going dutch, spelling out the ground rules and sticking to them, dating people that might otherwise seem less exiting to you. (the boring ones could just be the respectful ones and according to Bill Cosby, "the ugly ones is the nice ones)

It takes two to set a trap. The farmer inserts the carrot into the trap, but the rabbit has to love the carrot! If you refuse to be used and abused, stay away from charismatic individuals who have learned to use charm in place of respect. I was always the safe date, and although I did not always enjoy that reputation all the time, it was worth it to me when I realized that I could enjoy the company of a lot of interesting and attractive people that would not otherwise even notice me. One of the things I learned from my dates however, is that in order to be respected, first you have to respect yourself. If you are willing to do that, and to live by your own rules, it will be extremely hard for anyone to use or abuse you in any way at all!