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Guitar. >.<?

Yo. I want to learn how to play. I really suck and I haven't the slightest idea how to read.

Now from what I read the thickest chord is A and the smallest is F.

If that's how it works then please tell me how to play these strings for the songs
Smells like Nirvana
Hotel California
Forever Young
Good riddence
Feel good inc.
Californication
Snow ((HEy Oh))
Dani California
Tell me baby

I know I sound like a music dork but I need to know how to play these songs withen a week...

Please help me!


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Well, you need to learn all the notes on each fret and all the basic chords. Go to a local music store and buy a book or two. THEN once you have a little backround, you can play those songs in standard notation or guitar tab.
Tab is probably easier, it tells you what string and what fret to play at a time, standard tells you the chords so you have to know them all. Good luck.