Does anyone have any suggestions on how to approach genetic family?

Question:

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to approach genetic family?

My partner was adopted but wants to meet his birth family, so that he can find out the medical history (and if things go well to possibly get to know them). He has the phone number of his mum's mother, but he is really nervous of being turned away and has put it off for years. Does anyone have any suggestions based on personal experience (or not based on personal experience) on how we can approach this situation in the best way?

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Congratulations on the search results!

There's a lot of different advice out there on how to make that first contact. You may want to search around for adoptee and first parent blogs to read their personal experiences with reunion. Each one is different.

Some links that have advice on first contact are

http://www.pacer-adoption.org/search_reu...
http://birthfamily-search.adoptionblogs....

Some people say phone... other people say letter. It all depends a lot on the circumstances of his surrender. A number of people have had bad results with a third party getting involved... they can bring their own biases into it. I know of one first mom who was approached by an intermediary who botched it up so bad. She said later if only her son had been the first one to make contact, it would have been different. If you go with an intermediary, be sure to question them fully on their experience, and exactly why it is they've gotten involved in this area.

I'm glad he's got you there for support. Reunion is a rollercoaster and we need people to be there for us through it.